Lenten Reflections on Child Abuse
Monday Ministerial Musings
By Rev. Mark William Ennis
2024 Blog #14
April 7, 2025
Lenten Reflections on Child Abuse
On Saturday, I had business at the Bergen County, NJ justice center. Why I was there is a story for another blog. The story of this blog is that I happened to be walking up a hallway that was outside of the room that is used for supervised court visitations. Parents without custody of their children who wish to spend time with their children, are sometime court ordered to visit their children in this room under the supervision of court officials. Needless to say, there is a lot of animosity that comes out of such a room.
As I walked through the hall, I had to stop because of people blocking the hallway. A court official was speaking to a girl whom I estimate to be 9 or 10 years old, she was standing in the hallway as the court official engaged her in conversation. A Sheriff’s deputy stood nearby. The woman was asking the girl why she did not to see her father. The girl, despite her age, was rather articulate. She looked at the woman and said, “because he pulls my hair and punches me.”
My heart was broken when I heard the testimony of the little girl. I looked into her eyes and was certain that the girl was telling the truth. I still wonder how a court can allow a man who does such things, be in the presence of his daughter, especially when she was so frightened to be with him. As I was momentarily delayed by the people in the hallway, I could hear a loud voice coming from the visitation room. The voice, obviously male, was yelling, “when do I get to see my daughter?” I assumed that this man was the father of the girl in the hallway, but I have no way of being certain about this.
I couldn’t help but think of the words of Saint Paul in his instructions to the church in Ephesus:
6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
I couldn’t help but feel for this child, whose father had, seemingly, provoked her to anger by abusing her. How could she honor such a person, and how could we, as a society, allow her or even mandate her to be in her presence?
I wonder what was done to the father to make him behave so badly to his daughter. Was he abused as a child? Even if he was, does that serve as an excuse for such poor behavior?
During this season of Lent, we celebrate the sacrifice of Jesus for the sins of the whole world. Does this redemption also apply to child abusers? Is such redemption predicated on repentance? How do we understand the depth and breadth of Jesus’ redemptive sacrifice?
Some brands of Christianity believe in “universalism.” This is the belief that Jesus saves everyone, whether or not a person knows Jesus, or has repented. In that case, the abuser would be saved, like it or not.
Other Christians believe that one must repent of personal sins to achieve such salvation. In this case, the abuser would not achieve salvation without an acknowledgement of sin, and repentance from it.
The Roman Catholic Church makes the distinction between a venial sin and a mortal sin. Venial sins put you into purgatory which is like a temporary hell where one becomes purified. Mortal sins which put you in hell are defined as “a grievous offense with sufficient reflection and full consent of the will.”
If a person is sufficiently damaged from abuse, can such a person commit a mortal sin? Are such people capable of having “sufficient reflection?”
I wish I had the answers to these questions. What do you think? How far does the grace of God extend? Let us all contemplate these questions during this holy time of Lent.
#ReformedChurchInAmerica
# BergenCounty,NJ
#www.PastorMarkAuthor.com #www.revmarkwilliamennis.com
#GlenRock,NJ #CommunityChurchofGlenRock
#Abuse
#Redemption